aj (stressed_nos) wrote,

been out sick from the community

So, I haven't posted in a few months, but it's been because i've been so ill. Got mono and strep at the same time, had a lot of trouble with a cardiac arrhythmia, and then ended up having to go in for multiple emergency surgeries and blood transfusions. Ever since I got out of the hospital i've been binging non-stop. It started cuz i can't carry anything and at first could barely walk so definitely couldn't cook healthily as usual...so i started ordering out, eating whenever i was remotely hungry trying to help my body recoop. By the end of that week, every meal was ordered out- delivered, i was ordering way too much food, and binging like it was my job. i. cant. stop.
I ordered fresh direct (expensive groceries but delivered right into my apartment) so that i can start just steaming veggies as my meals again, but so far can't break my habit. I have gained thirty pounds this summer trying to recover from being ill and not being able to work out. I have to get rid of this fat, this bloat, and the disgusting blob that is now my body. I feel like i can't fast because i have to focus on school and have some energy, and because i'm nowhere near fully recovered from the surgeries, but it seems to be one extreme or the other...and i need to stop binging.
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